


everything is going wrong

by eowells



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: AU, Just a drabble, M/M, hermann loves newt, newt deserves better, newt loves hermann, precursor!newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:32:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16372007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eowells/pseuds/eowells
Summary: au where newt stops in the shatterdome's bathroom and hermann finds him in there





	everything is going wrong

**Author's Note:**

> i mostly wrote this because i just need to stretch my brain muscles and write a little bit

"Something's wrong with me." Newt said, keeping his voice low as he spoke, leaning in close so only Hermann could hear him. Well- Hermann and the unfortunate company that lingered in his head. 

"What do you mean?" Hermann asked, shifting his jaw.

Newt blinked, adverting his eyes. What did he mean? He meant there were voices in his head. Voices that told him to kill everyone. He meant that he'd impulsively drifted with a kaiju brain over and over until his brain was soup. He meant that ten years away from the man in front of him made him weak. He meant that just the very thought of Hermann was enough to bring him to his knees and send the hivemind reeling.

Sucking in a breath, he threw his head to the side. His eyes locked with those of his reflection's in the grimy bathroom mirror. His face was his yet it seemed so unfamiliar, so foreign. He'd come into the Shatterdome's bathroom with every intent to calm down. To splash cold water on his buring face and leave. Not to get stuck contemplating his existence and end up having Hermann of all people walk in on him. 

"Newton, what do you mean?" Hermann asked again, slower this time.

Newt found out the hard way that it sucked having an alien hivemind eavesdropping on every conversation and every single thought you had. He felt himself choking on his words. God. Tears flooded his eyes. Hermann was staring him down with a sternness that could only be his and a look he reserved for him and only him. 

"I'm not," Newt's voice cracked on the word and he paused, steadying himself as he restarted, a weary smile appearing, "I'm not feeling like myself lately." He dropped his voice, though he knew the precursors could still hear, "I can hear them, Herms. I can hear them in my head."

"Newton," Hermann fumbled with words before deciding to reach out and touch Newt's wrist. A notion that made Newt's ears burn and his heart stop. Hermann hated public displays or affection - or any dispays of affection, really - so this, this light touch, was undeniably special. Eventually Hermann found his voice, "The precursors?"

Newt nodded, trying his damned best not to let his tears fall. A headache was blossoming behind his eyes, a repercussion of his interactions with Hermann. The precursors hated Newt's affection for this old lab partner and furthermore, they hated that just a simple memory of Hermann could put Newt back in control.

"Oh, Newton." Hermann sighed, "You bloody idiot." Newt wanted to retort with a sharp comment, but all his edge faded when Hermann slipped his hand into his and continued, "You can fight them. Newton, I know how strong you are. Hell, how headstrong you are."

Hermann smiled, awkward and lopsided, but a smile all the same. It was the same stupid smile Newt fell in love with all those years ago. That same steady voice that talked slow or all too fast. Those same mannerisms that had shown through from the very beginning of their correspondence. They were used to fighting, yelling until their throats were raw. They hardly ever shared quiet moments but when they did, oh god, they did. 

Those moments fell few and far between, only happening after something disastrous. Hermann had a panic attack once and Newt was quick to jump in and help. He'd snapped his mouth shut and forgot every sharp retort he'd cooked up for the sake of helping the man he'd fallen for. He talked slow and steady to Hermann, running his hands through his lab partner's hair. 

Or after Newt's first drift with a kaiju brain. Hermann must've held him for at least an hour, probably longer. Newt wasn't sure. But he knew he heard Hermann crying. 

"I should've stayed." Newt said, "I should've stayed with you. Ten years is a long time, buddy, and Herms, it felt like an eternity without you. And- and with them," He gestured to his head with his free hand, "it sucks."

"You're here now, darling. That's all that really matters."


End file.
